weekend get-away

We enjoyed our annual get-away to beautiful Petoskey, MI this past weekend. We've been going up there for the past 7 years as Tim plays in a soccer tournament with some friends. We have our favorite places to go and visit, eat at, walk at etc. We had such a great time being up there with Teagan and just spending quality time with the 3 of us and being able to celebrate Tim's first Father's Day! Despite not getting to play soccer in a long time due to some "life changes," Tim played great and his team made it to the semi-finals but unfortunately they lost. Teagan and I had fun cheering him on!


Go Daddy!!


Daddy and his sweetie Teagie


Learning from Daddy about nature during our walk at the fish hatchery


Daddy showing me the fish swimming in the stream behind the glass wall!


Flower girls!


The sunset with rain coming!

on the move!

Just over a week ago, Teagan "mastered" rolling over and scooting. It seemed like this happened overnight! Her world is forever changed...and so is ours. The other day I set her down and I feel like I looked away for 2 seconds and she was already five feet off her play mat. I moved her just before she was going to put a power cord in her mouth. Yup...time to baby proof!! Every time we put her down on her back, she rolls immediately to her tummy. Now if she could only figure out that she just needs to roll back to her back at 2am instead of waking up on her tummy and crying until Mommy rescues her! :)


How can you not smile when you see this picture?! :)


Tangled up in her bumper toy after scooting off her play mat.


Up on all fours! We feel like she's going to crawl any day! Wow.


She loves to move!


Teagan woke up randomly at 11:30pm last night. Daddy (aka: Teagan's playmate) thought this would be a good time for her to try out her new "Baby Einstein Musical Motion Activity Jumper" (we gave in to buying one since she's getting so bored on the ground!). Why go back to sleep when you have a jumper like this to play in? As you can see, she really liked it....but Mommy didn't so much like the lack of consistent sleep that followed the rest of the night. :)


This doesn't really go with the post but I thought it was a cute picture so I wanted to throw it in here. :)

outdoorsey girl

I love being outside and got to take my first boat ride in my cool new life jacket last weekend! I like to shriek when the wind blows on my face! I can't wait until Daddy takes me tubing and skiing when I get a little bigger!


My first Tulip Time (a few weeks ago)!


With Mommy in front of her work float (Bethany Christian Services)!


I love my Daddy!

five things...

For those of you who know how indecisive I am, you can only imagine how long this took me.

Per the request of my sis, Tara Korinne:

FIVE things under $5 I could not live without:
1. chapstick
2. peanut butter/chocolate chips/graham crackers (they are eaten together, therefore, I'm counting them as one)
3. lotion
4. english toffee "coffee" from gas stations (yea, the cheap stuff)
5. bobby pins (I don't like it when my hair falls in my eyes)

FIVE favorite movies:
1. Crash
2. Dumb and Dumber
3. Meet The Parents
4. The Notebook
5. anything with Denzel Washington :)

FIVE baby names I like:
1. Teagan :)
2. Wyatt
3. Owen
4. Lakyn
5. Savannah

FIVE songs I could listen to over and over again:
1. You Are Beautiful My Sweet Sweet Song - Third Day
2. Resurrection - Nicol Sponberg
3. I Will Remember You - Sarah Mclachlan
4. Fruits of The Spirit CD (can't pick just one song) - Eric Schrotenboer
5. You Are So Good To Me - Water Deep and 100 Portraits

FIVE people who have influenced me in a positive way:
1. Jesus
2. Mom and Dad (they count as one)
3. Tim
4. Dede Weilhouwer
5. Joy Pyper

FIVE things that are always in my purse:
1. chapstick
2. mints or gum
3. wallet
4. hand lotion
5. bobby pins (see above)

FIVE moments that have changed my life forever:
1. accepting Jesus as my Savior
2. saying "hello" to a cute boy in the weightroom at Hope College
3. giving birth to Teagan Alise
4. going to a friend's house in inner city GR when I was in 4th grade
5. going to Haiti on a mission trip

FIVE obsessions I have now:
1. Teagan
2. eating peanut butter/chocolate chips/graham crackers (or apples)
3. putting chapstick on (seems like I have a theme in these answers...)
4. learning about international adoption
5. checking my email and other people's blogs

FIVE places I would like to go:
1. Colorado (again)
2. Hawaii (again)
3. Oregon
4. Africa
5. Europe

FIVE appliances/kitchen tools I can't live without:
1. microwave
2. kitchen aid mixer
3. toaster oven
4. spatula
5. knife (for scooping out peanut butter...see above)

FIVE people whose FIVE THINGS I'd like to see:
1. Jess O.
2. Corrie H.
3. Deb G.
4. Allison A.
5. Sara K.

Dedication

We had a wonderful Mother's Day on Sunday, not only because it was my 1st, but because Teagan was dedicated at our church! Tim and I publicly committed to raising Teagan as a child of God, modeling what it means to have a personal love relationship with Him with the desire that one day she will make the decision to receive Christ as her personal Savior! We were so blessed to have over 20 family members join us for this special day both at church and for a grill-out (although Tim was the only one out grilling for us all in the pouring rain! Whatta man!) at our house afterwards. Teagan was such a trooper and did a fabulous job despite hardly eating and sleeping all day! We are so honored to be given such a precious jewel to raise! Our prayer for her (which was displayed during her dedication) comes from Ephesians 3:17-19:
"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."


Teagan looked adorable in her little white dress!


Sitting still for this photo shoot is hard work!


The church service (there were a lot of babies born at Engedi this year!) :)


Great Oma with Teagan and Myles!

Teagan says, "Thank you to Great Oma for making a beautiful blankie, to Grandma for making me a beautiful sweater and to Nana for the beautiful bracelet, all to wear on my special day! Thank you as well to Great Aunt Wilma for the wonderful books and to Aunt Jess and "Uncle" Mike for my "Opie" (the octopus) and cool biker shirt!"
We appreciate everyone's help and contributions in making this such a special Mother's Day!

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Teagan had her 4 month check up this past week. This was the first time since we found out we were pregnant that I attended a doctor's appointment by myself, however, we were able to stop by after the appointment to see Daddy at his work site so he could give his little girl some kisses after her shots. :) Teagan is in the 75% range for her weight and in the 90% range for her height! We always said she looked long! And on the bragging front, the doctor was also impressed with how strong she was and said that her skills were advanced for her age. :)
Here are some recent pics of our little pumpkin pie!


Teagan loves riding this truck!


Our happy girl!


Mmmmm....I love my toes!


Playing with Daddy and Bailey in my backyard (I shriek and giggle when Bailey chases his ball!) :)

musings of God's goodness

I attended a seminar recently for work entitled "Overcoming Compassion Fatigue." I've read about and heard talks on this topic in the past, however, hearing them again resonated in a new way with me. This could be due to the fact that lately, I've been more intentional about taking a closer look at who I am compared against who God has created me to be. This hasn't been the easiest process as it has revealed things that I like to keep stuffed down inside me, minimizing their importance and affect on my character. Doing this, however, has brought me more intimacy with God, something that sometimes I don't even realize that I've been missing until I am intentional about spending this kind of time with Him (through prayer, reading His Word, reflection etc). It is only then that my soul can realize how far away I had been from the warmth of His presence and I am once again held closer by His grace.

So, the seminar I attended once again duplicated this theme that has been occurring lately in my mind and heart in regards to taking an inward look at myself and who I am. You see, I have a special heart towards social workers (not just because I am one), particularly those who are out in the field and immerse themselves into people's lives and homes and deal with issues most everyone else ignores. As a social worker, particularly while working in the Families First Program, I was exposed to issues that most people my age have and may never see. Mental illness, domestic violence, court, drug addiction, physical, emotional and sexual abuse, poverty, unfit living conditions, neglect etc. I am not recognizing this out of bitterness because truly, I wouldn't change a thing as I know these experiences have opened my eyes to what breaks the heart of God. However, daily exposure to these issues coupled with a "helping" personality (like most social workers) as well as ethical standards (confidentiality) which limit ones ability to release these feelings and experiences to others can lead to what the speaker of this seminar calls "Secondary Traumatic Stress." Letting this information permeate my core enlightened me to the fact that I have been (truly, we all have in some shape or form) affected by this...with the largest affected areas being my worldview and my understanding of God. I saw so much hurt around me each day and I wanted so badly to help but could only do so little. In some ways, I had to learn (from a professional standpoint, not necessarily a personal) to be okay with mediocrity - in a child's living conditions, with a parent's inability to tell their child what they loved about him/her, with people living in constant "survival mode" with a kind of stress which I will never know, with parents who are so wounded themselves that they know no other way of life and in turn, unintentionally wound their children. These experiences, in many ways, made me become cynical, mistrustful, burdened, overwhelmed, irritable towards society, friends, family, the church. I often put on a happy face but inwardly I didn't always feel this way. Shamefully, I was struggling with the concept of God's goodness in the midst of the ugliness and chaos of people's lives. I remember at one point, while singing the song "You Are Good (All The Time)," at church, I had to stop singing because my heart was questioning if I really believed it.

So, in hearing this seminar, I was reminded that I had been holding on somewhat to this false belief regarding God's goodness. Since realizing this and returning back to spending more deliberate, intimate time with God, I've been more attuned to His truth. There have been moments lately where I feel God impressing this truth into my heart. Hearing a friend speak about the peace she has trusting in God's perfect timing despite facing possible infertility issues; having a friend ensure that God's glory is revealed, even in the face of a disease that will cost him his sight; knowing that a young woman I've known over the last 5 years has chosen life for her unborn child in spite of the voices telling her to choose otherwise; getting a phone call from a former client, telling me she is still drug free and living life to the fullest, being the mom that God created her to be; seeing my nephew walk and take more bites of food after months of perseverance by his parents; being loved by my family; waking up this morning to my daughter's smile. These are all reflections of God's goodness which too often get overshadowed by the darkness of this world. And so, I am learning. I am learning that sometimes the darkness can seem really dark and that what is broken is what breaks the heart of God. I am learning that in spite of these circumstances, God is present. And God is good!

"In all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39

I encourage you to hold on to this truth even when the burdens and darkness of this world seem so strong!

"Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me." Psalm 86:17

big girl

I wish I had some updated pictures to post (these were taken last month) but we have yet to purchase a new camera (again). We hope to do this sooner rather than later as our little Teagers is becoming such a big girl and I miss capturing these moments on film! Tim and I have enjoyed reminiscing lately as it was one year ago this weekend that we found out that God had created Teagan!

I can't believe she will be 4 months old tomorrow! It seems as though she's gone through a growth spurt the past few weeks as she is sporting a few new rolls (and occasionally waking Mommy at night b/c she's hungry). She has her next check up on May 12 and we're anxious to see how much she weighs now. Her new favorite discovery is her TOES! She likes to suck on them like Popsicles. :) She has also discovered more of her vocal cords and her soft shrieks (happy noises) have now turned into more of a scream. Loud scream. I think she actually scares herself sometimes. :) We LOVE how interactive she is now too! She is a happy baby and her smiles melt our heart! She especially likes laughing at her big "brother," Bailey, when he chases his ball outside. This is a really fun stage as she is noticing things around her so much more (although feedings have been a new adventure as she turns her head at every little noise she hears) and seems to learn something new everyday. She's so attuned to things around her and is beginning to definitely show preference to Tim or I when in a group of people....so don't take it personally if she breaks down while holding her...it just means she's developmentally on target!! :)
SO, in lieu of all these changes, we are preparing ourselves for a big step tomorrow night................moving Teagan to her "big girl" bed! Yup. She will be moving to her very own room and be sleeping (we hope) in her crib. To be honest, this is probably going to be more difficult for us than for her! :( However, we know it needs to be done, not only because she's getting close to exceeding the weight limit for her bassinet, but also because the longer we wait to do it, the harder it will be for all of us. Even though she's just going to be across the hall, in some ways, I wonder if the feelings we're having are a small peak at what lies ahead in this journey as parents....realizing that we can't be next to her, watching over her and protecting her at all times, but rather, entrusting her to God and encouraging her independence. I can imagine these "steps" only get more difficult as children grow up!




I have been back at work, as an International Adoption social worker, for about one month now. I praise God for the ways He has been walking with us during this time as the transition has gone fairly smooth...not to say that being gone from my sweetie pie (and Tim) :) for 16+ hours/week hasn't been challenging, but I continue to be affirmed that this is where God wants us. I am so grateful for my awesome mom who is providing Teagan the greatest care while I'm gone! I am also so grateful for my "team" at work as they've given me such support and grace as I make this transition. I'm still in the "training" phase of the job, but I can honestly say that I am loving what I do. I've had a heart for vulnerable children and families my whole life, but since having Teagan, my emotional connection to this issue has been heightened. I am honored to be an advocate for those who don't have a forever Mommy and Daddy to hold them like we hold Teagan. If your arms are available and your heart is interested in learning more about how you can be this kind of person in a child's life, let me know (check out my sister-in-law's blog for some exciting news!!) :) Tim is up and running full speed with lawn maintenance. I am so proud of him as he not only retained 100% of his clients from last year, he has added many more and is steadily growing his business. This, along with firefighting classes and meetings 2- 3 nights/week, make for not much time at home lately. Although he's really enjoying it all, we are both looking forward to June when this part of his firefighting training is done!

Hope you enjoyed the update. :) Blessings to you all!